The innocence of teasing




I have always been extremely self-aware of my body, especially of my legs. In a world where physical appearance seems so important, it is common/widely accepted to fall into a self-criticism loop, so no one around me ever thought it would be a major issue. During my school years my guy friends made fun of my legs saying I looked like a ‘male football player’ (kids can be very mean). It unconsciously marked me for the next decade until my last years of university. I developed an eating disorder strictly controlling what I ate, working out for hours and missing out in everything that is good in life. I also fell into a self-hatred cycle because deep inside I was aware of how superficial my thoughts were and wanted to let go of everything and focus on helping others and doing things I loved. Eventually I was so slim I lost my period for two years. Doctors were afraid I would become infertile, and yet, I was complimented by countless friends and guys on ‘how good/healthy I looked’. Social media had also exacerbated all of this process, but it also ended up being kind of an escape. I started replacing toxic accounts for girls who had recovered from ED, medium-sized models and lots of art and literature accounts. What really helped me fully recover and start loving myself for the first time ever were hours of confronting my thoughts, surrounding myself with loved ones and leaving toxic relations behind, stopping labeling food as ‘good’/’bad’, recovering my passion for music, reading, fashion, baking, art and lots of journaling. Some conclusions: 1) we must learn to think and talk through our feelings when it comes to negative body image, bad days, toxic relations...; 2) we should show our children more natural/unaltered/naked bodies that are not usually portrayed in the media; 3) we need a more inclusive fashion industry for every single type of body; 4) we need more personal stories coming from every corner of the world.

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